How to make lent more meaningful?

Do you feel that you are missing the true meaning of Lent and Easter? Or are you getting dragged down by others version of what Lent and Easter is? If you want to make Lent more meaningful this year, I hope my journey of awakening renews your idea about Lent and Easter.

The old vine skins

Many years ago, when I was young and had a limited understanding of faith, I thought lent was all about pleasing God or sacrificing stuff you liked because God liked sacrifices. Well, don’t blame me for that sort of thinking for that was the primary message that came through. Or probably I am just plain daft and take time to understand. Anyway whichever it was, like many Indian Catholics, I used to give up meat on Fridays during Lent

Don’t ask me why though! I am guessing it is probably to do with the fact, that in India, meat is considered a delicacy or is more expensive compared to the boring vegetable. And if you had an Indian Catholic mother, like mine, who made boiled vegetables with a tad bit of salt, it was more like punishment food, or food that you need to have like medicine to keep you healthy. So meat was like the desert of the main course.

Anyway, then, l didn’t understand the rationale behind it or was plain lazy. I was also young and naive and didn’t want to waste my time asking questions. So I went with the flow and did what was expected. Besides that, I also always wanted to be on Gods good side and I loved pleasing him. I was never planning to burn bridges with the Lord. If he wanted me to eat veggies, veggies it was! I wasn’t going to be the one to argue that!

My big abstain

We were a liberal family and tried to skip meat on Friday, which I feel is pretty reasonable. We were not even militant about that! I felt a calling to do more as I reached 20. So while mom made meat curry during the week, I used to have only the curry and skipped the meat. I thought I was earning brownie points from God for doing so :). I also made sure no one knew because the left hand shouldn’t know what the right hand is doing and those things. I had great intentions, but whether God wanted that of me, is another question altogether.

Did it make sense?

I continued with the status quo until I turned late 30’s. By then, I was a working mum, had two kids, a lot on my plate and this seemed like the most practical thing to do. But as time passed, I realised that I was never a food lover in any case, so my abstaining from food /meat made no sense! How could it make an impact, if a non-foodie abstained from food? So I thought it was time for me to explore other forms of abstinence.

What were the other options?

By the time my kids turned 8 and 6, I was based in London, working and managing them all on my own while my husband continued to work in Qatar. Now my plate was not only full, it was getting bloody heavy! With the food abstaining seeming ridiculous, I did not know what else I could do without wreaking havoc in my already overwhelmed life. But when my kids were ready with their Lenten promises from school, I felt compelled to do something. They were looking up to me to set an example, after all.

The big decision

I realised the influential position I was as a parent, so I decided to do something more meaningful. But I also did not want to crack! After spending some time reflecting on what I could do, I figured that I had no with no vices like drinking, smoking etc that needed mending. So this was going to be tougher than I anticipated.

Mirror mirror on the wall, what is the best thing to give up after all?

I thought of giving up tea, or reducing it because those who know me well, know that drinking tea is my lifeline. It is the one thing that keeps me sane. I love having my cup of tea and staring into space. It almost feels like meditation for me.

But I quickly cast that thought away as I didn’t want to feel grumpy and agitated the whole day long and take out my frustrations on people. I saw that as the only outcome of giving up on tea and nothing positive. Ok, I do admit, reducing it could improve my health. But by then Pope Francis came to my rescue when he said something to the effect that it was better to avoid fasting if it would make us less compassionate people. I held on to that for dear life and continued drinking tea for the greater good of mankind 😉

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Without much options coming to mind and with the clock ticking – ‘Time for Lenten promises’ from my kids, I came up with the promise of not seeing social media for 40 days.

Why Social media?

The truth is that I am not a social media junkie by any standards! I am the silent stalker, who looks at peoples profile from behind the scenes and am completely invisible on FB. I like reading about others and spending time looking at what other people are doing. Even on Quora, I only like reading people’s opinions and views. But since I had no time to read books, I used that as a substitute. So in short, I was a harmless social media observer. But with nothing else to abstain from, this seemed like the best bet. So I deleted the apps from my phone and laptop lest temptations strike.

How did it look like – the abstaining?

• Temptations were lurking all over e.g Despite deleting the app, Mike Zuckerburg and team kept sending reminders on emails. I succumbed once or twice and downloaded the app again only to figure it was a crap message and deleted the app again.
• Once I deliberately checked it to send a condolence message to a friend who lives abroad.
• I was soon flushed with spare time and did not know how to make use of it.
• Calmness like I never knew entered my life because I used the spare time to rest, recoup and rewind. Even though I was a harmless SM observer, it had become a default reflex which was draining my energy.
• I started doing other things like reading books or spend time in silence and appreciate the beauty around me. I found better ways to nourish myself rather than Social Media

How did I make Lent more meaningful? How did I change?

By the time it was Easter Sunday, I was beginning to enjoy my new-found lifestyle. I didn’t want to be on FB any more. I was out off the Facebook app for another 4 months and Quora for another 6 months. Instead, I started exploring and reinventing myself slowly. I slowly took to writing on Quora. I loved writing but had put it int he back burner for decades. Now I had time for in it small doses.

Did I go ballistic and call it the enemy?

No, not by any standards! I am still on Facebook as it has numerous merits. For example, it has free advertising for businesses. It is s a great way to connect and learn as well. I have met a lot of online teachers through Face book.

But now instead of restricting myself to only one thing, I make an informed choice. Sometimes I use the time for self-care, rest, recoup, listen to music or do nothing. Other times I use it to spend time with my kids/family. It showed me alternate ways of spending my free time rather than letting FB dominate the scene. This small change over the years evolved into many greater things. I was then able to reflect on my choices in life. Now I have started a blog, run a business, make time for reading etc from that one small change. It also changed the lives of the ones around me. I have become a better parent, spouse, friend, business person, mortgage adviser etc.

New Vines

From that experience, I learnt that Easter /Resurrection is about transformation i.e Bringing about a change in our lives or turning old vine skins into new.

Easter isn’t about making sacrifices to please God, nor is an exchange offer where I tell the Lord that -‘You died for me, so now I am giving you this in return’! I guess like many Christians, I had missed the boat. I had reduced it to mere prayer and fasting. Prayer and fasting is a vehicle to bring you closer to your destination but is not the destination itself. Yes, prayer and fasting can help make it easier but is not the only thing. We can’t just stop there.

What does Transformation mean?

Transformation is a call to change ourselves from within. Christ through his death on the cross transforms death. His death involves suffering, but doesn’t end in death but ends in the resurrection on the 3rd day to give us hope and love.

How does that pan out for us?

Change for us too may involve suffering and hardship, but eventually, leads to a resurrection like Christ did on the cross many years ago. For us, it involves asking ourselves tough questions of what is important to us in the larger scheme of life and taking steps to make that change.

My thoughts on this?

To look at our lives through this lens, we must understand the goal of Easter, which if put simply, is to resurrect the Christ within us. The following verse always gives me perspective :

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2.20

What that translates into?

It means that my old self has been crucified with Christ. I don’t live any longer but Christ lives in me. So the new life that I live is lived with faith in the God who loves me and gave himself for me. This is how we allow Christ to resurrect within us.

The way forward-How can you make Lent meaningful?

The following steps work for me

The first thing to do to make Lent meaningful is to go to my inner room and pray and ask the Lord important questions like:

• What he wants me to change?
• How does he want me to do that?
• How can I serve others? The greatest person is the ‘servant’ as per the Lord and he too came to serve. So I ask him how can I learn to serve others differently where I could help change myself and others to resurrect Christ in themselves
• How can I use the gifts he has given me to do his works? Contemplate on the gifts that he has given me.

The next thing I have to do to make Lent meaningful is to realise that it doesn’t have to be big, lofty or grand .

Big tasks overwhelm us. So it best to start with baby steps and making one small tiny change at a time. We don’t need quick-fix solutions either. This is a slow ongoing process.

Thirdly, if you want to make Lent meaningful, understand that it has no time restriction of 40 days.

It is a new lifestyle which has no time restriction. We can make tiny steps the entire year through.

Lastly , to make Lent meaningful ,it should include forgiveness and compassion to self when we cannot live it daily

There is no punishment nor right and wrongs. There may be days you just cannot do it, or some other days we may succumb to temptations, or you may need it on the third day, it is all OK, because it is a lifestyle change to slowly, bit by bit resurrecting the Christ that lives within you.

To conclude- How can you make Lent meaningful

If you want to make Lent more meaningful, instead of using those 40 days to abstain from drinking, eating, not gossiping and then making up for it on Easter Sunday, let us use it as a lifestyle to change ourselves. Let us remember the final goal is to be balanced, grounded and allow lent be a point of transformation to resurrect Christ within us.