Do you sometimes wonder who you are and what is your true identity? Does your understanding of faith influence and impact your thoughts about yourself or human beings at large? Does the fact that we are ‘sinners in need of forgiveness ‘make you feel less than? Shockingly for me, it did! But I realised that my understanding of religion was limited and outdated. If you are sailing in the same boat, I hope you will learn from my journey by looking at it through the lens of spirituality and parenthood. Let us know understand what is our true identity and relationship with God.
The Genesis of the problem: We do not know our identity and relationship with God
As a child, the creation story impacted me more than I cared to admit. There was something about it that didn’t add up. I knew at some level that something was amiss, but I did not want to acknowledge it. There was more than what meets the eye and it became apparent to me as I evolved. All I had to do was dig deep to find my truth which lay hidden in plain sight.
Some of my blind spots were
Was man a jerk ?
If I were to be a brutally honest and not sugar coat the truth, the story made me feel that man was an unworthy, sinful creation of God and couldn’t do what they were told. I felt as though, man, despite having abundance wanted more and was hence an ungrateful wretch!
Loss fun and freedom
I also blamed man for bringing suffering, hard work and discontent in the world. In my mind, I had a personal war waged out at Adam and Eve. Thanks to them, instead of galloping on a horse or a lions back eating strawberries or peaches, I had to contend with school and chores and a whole list of boring things we do in the real world. Don’t blame me for wanting to pick a bone with them! Not only did I abuse and blame them a million times, but also felt justified at wagging my fingers at that at every juncture and saying – ‘It’s your darn fault!’
Loss of direct communication
I also blamed them for losing a direct communication line with God. It would have been great to chat with him like they did and I was upset that we couldn’t. While I like the option of prayers and other forms of communication, it wasn’t as satisfying. So now we had to contend with the options available, thanks to them!
Obedience became the master key in our relationship with God
The other issue that plagued me about their relationship with God was that they got banished from the Eden. I didn’t quite understand what that meant. Did that mean that the love between God and man was conditional and only subject to honouring his will? For long, I thought so and did not want to punished like Eve nor banished out of God’s kingdom. So, I devised a simple plan. Follow Gods will, no questions asked. Without questioning the relevance of anything, I blindly began to follow what I believed was Gods will.
Rejection of parts of ourselves which were not pleasing to God
I believed that parts of me that were similar to Eve were not pleasing to God and would lead to punishment. So, for good order sake, I rejected and abandoned all sides which felt like “Eve”. I dropped her out of my landscape as I didn’t want to lose anything more! So instead of believing in God’s profound love for us, I started believing that God’s love for us was conditional on following his Holy Will.
New ways of thinking
I went along life, praying and leading the good catholic life for many years. But a lot of falls across the way made me question my plan. I began to wonder if it was the right one? After all, I might have made this plan when I must have been 3? Maybe at 40, it was time for a review? By then I learned that life isn’t only in black and white but has shades of grey as well. With that insight, I was able to open my mind to new ways of thinking. I was now able to see the relationship between God and man in a new light.
Know your identity and relationship with God
To know our Identity and relationship with God we need to know what is our true identity
I understood my true identity and our identity as a human race. Guess what it was? We are sons and daughters of God. This may sound blase, but I understood the depth of it only when I became a parent. As I evolved as a parent and accepted that my children are a mix of both parents, another realisation dawned on me – If our children are mini versions of us, then who are we mini versions off?
Who is our grand masterpiece?
In the Genesis, it said that God made man in his image and likeness. It isn’t a wonder then that we are an image and likeness of our creator.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Genesis 1.27
This truth never really sunk in before when I heard the priest or religious saying it a million times over the pulpit. Then it just sounded like a pep talk to make us feel good about ourselves or a lie to kid ourselves about who we are. But when you let the Word of God guide you, it becomes clear.
We are perfect just the way we are
Since we are made in the image and likeness of God, we are perfect just the way we are and do not have to reject or change any side of ourselves. Every part of us is lovable and acceptable, even the despicable ones! We don’t need to reject parts of us that seem like Eve for she too was one of Gods perfect and beautiful creation. To me, she represented, the childish side or the more human side of humanity, which God created knowingly. If God didn’t think that she was wrong, who are we to think differently?
The problem is, that over time, man has forgotten the truth of who we are, and have changed ourselves to something else. We have created a persona. But we have been created perfectly and its time we go back to our original version, our true self, in his image and likeness,
We are all loved
Everyone has the same birthright and inheritance of being God’s children. Jesus too came to reiterate that everyone is loved equally i.e thieves, prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors, fisherman, enemies in this loving relationship. He also said that our enemies also deserve love.
Mathew 5.44-45
Which means that our father in heaven sends light and blessings to all, hence we must stand tall in our love.
We are loved unconditionally
Just as parents have an indescribable love for our kids, so also is the love of God for his children. We love our kids even if they mess up badly, do crazy things. Similarly, Gods love for us is also unwavering irrespective of what we do.
Just because we give our kids time outs and restrictions, it doesn’t mean that our love is unconditional. For example, as a parent, I dissuade them from doing things that are not in their best interest .e.g restrict screen times. As adults, we know its ills. But if my kids sneak or disobey me when I am preoccupied, I may yell at them or give them a time out, but my love for them does not waiver for they are part of me and are mine. In the same way, God’s loves us. How much more do you think his love is for us even after Adam and Eve got a ‘Time out’ (banished from Eden)
The Reason of settling a limit (Restrictions)
I often wondered what was the deal with the damn apple and why on earth couldn’t they eat it! What was God trying to teach us? Was it obedience or was it to establish his sovereignty? I stuck to the story of obedience fora long time because it was easier to follow the status quo.
But when I evolved as a parent, I saw this in a whole different light, for I too have restrictions for my kids. For .e.g I have restricted them to use an app called tick tock which is very popular now. But it is safe with parental controls in place. So when they kept insisting on it, I did the required due diligence and now they use it with all parental controls in place. This led me to understand why God restricted Adam and Eve from eating the fruit from the tree of Good and Evil. The following passage puts it beautifully :
Hebrew 5.13-14
To me, this passage illustrates that God set the limit because he felt that man was not yet mature enough to discern between good and evil.
The importance of Direct communication with God
I often wondered what would happen if instead of succumbing to the temptation, Eve would have gone to God and told him that she wanted to taste the fruit. My understanding is that the Lord knew that they were still in the infant stage of understanding and were not ready to eat the fruit of Good and Evil because of their inexperience or stage of infancy. But if just like our kids are persistent with us, we too communicate our desires to God, I am sure he will put his parental controls in place and allow her/ us to eat the fruit. I just wish she would have communicated with him!
When conflicted with God’s will
When conflicted with Gods will, it is best to have a direct conversation with the Lord. Spend time in silence and go to your inner room and talk. He loves for us to us to spend time with him, just as we love to spend time with people we love. We must not despair if we don’t hear from him in the first instance as we are in the process of rebuilding the lost communication signals to him. When we are consistent and patient, we will hear from him. Speak to him directly as we would to our father with right and love.
The biggest fall- out of the fall in our relationship
After the fall, with newfound awareness, but still lacking in maturity, man became overcome with the following
- As a human race, we lost our identity as children of God.
- We felt separate from God as though he was far away from us
- Since man was punished/banished by God, we feel as though we lost our connection.
- We forget the love that is between God and man and feel fearful that we lost God’s love.
- To prove that we are worthy of his love we start doing million great things to earn his love and approval
The truth is that we were never separated but always close to God. We only had to enjoy and believe in the relationship.
To conclude: Remember your identity and relationship with God
When in doubt, remember that God loves you unconditionally and remember your identity of being a beautiful child of God. If you find it difficult to live by the limits set for you, communicate your feelings to him. Allow him to put the required parental controls in place so that you can do your desires in line with his will. Lastly, do not try to change the masterpiece that you are for you are uniquely handcrafted by the Lord.
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